Well, I saw Rob Zombie's directorial debut, House of a Thousand Corpses. It's a sort of not-very postmodern mish-mash of The Texas Chain Saw Massacre and Herschell Gordon Lewis, and if you don't know what i mean, lucky you. It does what it does with style and is very effective, but what it's doing is by definition naff, it's not brilliant. Doctor Satan is also an out of place stab at a franchise monster stuffed into the last reel. This jars badly and rather spoils the gory joie de vivre of what's gone before. And they got the name of one of the characters wrong on the promotional cocktail. D'oh.

It would appear that escalator bannisters move slightly faster than the stairs. This means your hand gets to the top before the rest of you.

Signal failure at Finchley Road means I'm stuck just after Kilburn. My Wonderful But Demanding Girlfriend is here with me... Say hello, WBDG.. "Hello minions!" Well. Yes, that was about right. Like a chirpy Darth Vader. Only less leather. Leathery. Apparently. God, I have an editor.

Apparently mike doesn't like the design. Well, ya boo sucks. It's a modernist design tribute to the work of de stijl school artist Piet Mondrian, and has a smattering of Aztec influence. So I hope that leaves you feeling very much the philistine, Mister Gavin. MS paint, indeed. I'll give you MS pain when you're down in London!

How is it so hot on some bits of the tube? Are we that near the Earth's core?

So here I am at Waterloo station. Why? Well, wouldn't you be if you had the chance? Ahh, the heady sights, sounds and smells of an international terminal! Yeah, I'm on my way to work. Never mind.

So I've been looking at hostels in London. That's right, folks, homelessness beckons for this little moth. End of this week and I'm out of my house. Housing benefit failed to pay up over the past.. What? 8 months? Something like that. Anyway, off into the wilderness of no home I go. With luck, I'll be in a sort of backpacker hostel, or something, by this time next week. Yes, it's like a nightmare about a plague. But at least I have a job still! Look on the bright side!! Ay ay ay.

I'm all nervous for no good reason. Probably just waiting around to in to work, which always makes me feel crappy. I have things to do today, and I don't wanna, but I gotta, becase it's not just my problem. Hey, I can be more cryptic if you like. I was really unnerved by something at work yesterday, but the confidentiality thing I signed means I ain't gonna mention what it was. Oh, and Corinne? Wil Wheaton gets a link and I don't? What's up with that?

I feel like Gene Wilder in The Producers. I'm wet! I'm hot and I'm irritable and I'm wet! I'm also in pain, but that's just standing up all day. If you haven't seen The Producers, this is very funny, by the way. But you should, really. Anyway, it's been raining over lunch. And still hot. Yeah, good one, God.

Nice weekend, isn't it? Sunny, and with lots of things to do. So I did nothing. Hahahaha! But indolence has its own reward, and I feel warm and contented. Have more work next week, possibly ongoing, so why worry?

I'm clearly out of control on wapblogger, but why wouldn't you be? I can post from anywhere, except underground or the rainforest. And even then.. Maybe. There's a tree growing out of the building opposite. God knows how, there's no soil there. It's not landscaping, it's a scrap for survival. Poor tree. Or maybe not. Tough little thing, hanging on there...

I don't know quite why, but this guy's site is just beautiful to me. Maybe it's the Renaissance Man aspect of the list of qualitfications. Maybe it's the idea of this website somehow selling web design. Maybe.. oh, i don't know. But it's great, and more people should see it. Am I cruel?

Saw Finding Nemo last night. Awesome like a million billion hotdogs. I was pretty dubious from the first teaser trailer - unlike the incredibles, the teaser for which makes me angry at time's sluggardly progress - but it really is top quality. As you'd expect from Pixar, damn their over-achieving eyes.

Things you don't want to know, part a million: that your aunt swears blind that a your ex-girlfriend with straightened hair is the spitting image of you mum at that age. I mean..! Thanks for sharing!

Am rather hungry at the moment, which is odd. I mean, not for a human person, but usually I skip breakfast without noticing. Just lately, though, I've been really feeling the loss. Of course, just lately is when I can't afford it..

So I've been boxing stuff up. Files, you know. Anyway, this guy comes up and looks puzzled. What happened to all his files? They're in these boxes. Heh. He didn't like that. Not that he was pissed off, or anything. But he wasn't chuffed. Apparently, his stuff was packed away simply because we didn't have anything to do. Our over-efficency is his headache.

This ain't quite how it's going to be. But it's not exactly how it's not going to be, either. This is a rough cut of the new site. Say hello to modernism, folks. It's the new post-modernism.

Well, actually, it's the old post-modernism, but whose site is this, yours or mine? Exactly. Smartarse.

This will all be off the screen before anyone gets to read it. That makes thom sad.

Hmm. I got a letter a while ago, saying Egg would be switching cash card providers from Link to Visa Plus, I think it was. Today, my card does not seem to work. Egg have been bad about this in the past. A little bit of history repeating..?

I'm thinking of 'doing a Mike'. Not in the major lifestyle decision sense, of course. I might have to create a separate Wap blog if I'm just going to be posting shit here all the time. Or, y'know. Balls to it.

Today is Not Lard Day! Celebrate, mortals!

The inside track of the spiral staircase at moorgate. It's walk-down weekday morning rush-hour, and the inside track is a joy, can shave seconds off your time. And it's oddly satisfying to whizz past the other saps who chose the safer, slower outside track. Um. So that's my morning.

I am in some serious back pain here. Lifting boxes is clearly disagreeing with me, though it's a recurring thing, so perhaps that's a coincidence. Ow, anyway. Ow. Seriously. In other news, Finding Nemo on Tuesday. Woo to tha hoo!

This is from my phone, so counts as a test. Hello! Thank you, Mikey. You are the best ever.