Tuesday, 28 December 2004

Present and correct

I'm a little tired. Christmas has been uncharacteristically exhausting, as I may have mentioned. However, it was all worth it in the end. Christmas Day itself went off beautifully, with gifts and trees and turkey and boardgames and all things as they should be.

Hmm, speaking of which, my main present was a game of Monopoly from Flapjack. Oh, wow, big deal you may say. Aha, but you have not seen this Monopoly board. Is the first square "Old Kent Road"? No. It is not. Nor is it any of the other roads or places you may have seen on any of the many and various regional or licenced Monopoly boards. It reads here "Floor in Ealing". Why, you may ask? Well, it is probably the low point in my accomodation journey. A homeless Moth crashing on the floor of a generous friend for almost two weeks when "between houses" on his first move to London. And so it goes on. The house where there were rats in the kitchen in Oxford. My first primary school. My halls of residence. The house I grew up in... You can't imagine how amazing it was to see them all, familiar names on a familiar object but... I don't think I've ever cried on receiving a present before. But I did this time. It's just the most perfect thing in the world.

I bought Flppy several pressies, including her first carafe of the day, but none of them could really match up. I content myself that her birthday present from me was something pretty special. She also received a tree, a Japanese Maple which we needed to plant up. So that was what we did today. But first the roots of the old cherry needed to be, um, uprooted. No mean feat. But we did it! Oh, yes. I smote its body upon the paving.



Graaaargh!

Of course, I ache now. But sod it, the new tree is in. It's the first thing we've planted in the garden, and it's going to be beautiful.

Wednesday, 22 December 2004

guh

So busy. At work, so busy. And this is Christmas week. I'm supposed to be making sure the house is ready for Christmas Day. Instead I get home and want to sleeeeeep. Or die. Whichever is the least effort. And I've started to get cramp in my legs. This is not restful. I feel very run down.

I shall sit and meditate by the tree tonight, breathing in its soothing Christmassy vapours. And I shall rattle presents. I know what's in them, but nonetheless. Rattle rattle rattle. Ooh, wonder what it is? Oh, yeah, it's that.

Sunday, 19 December 2004

Tree

Well, Christmas is pretty much done and dusted. Oh, yes. Shopping? Check. Wrapping of presents? Check. Whacking great tree? Check, checkety check. This is the first proper Christmas tree I've had, and Flapjack, too. So we've got our first tree together. IYSWIM.

Anyway, we brought it quite a distance. I mean, not Journey of the Magi distance, but a fair bus ride and decent walk from Homebase. No-one batted an eye when I walked onto the bus with a tree taller than I am. This I attribute to it being a Sunday. And then it required sawing! Gah. No-one mentioned sawing. Still, now I know for next year. It's currently in the corner, unadorned and falling back into its real shape. Bits are falling off! Hey, you bits! Stop falling off! I'm sure this is absolutely normal behaviour for a Christmas tree, but I'm worried about it. I want it to be perfect. It smells nice. This I have found. Fraser Firs smell lovely.

Thursday, 9 December 2004

lo, i say unto thee...

Now I'm on to The Iliad. So the three major reads of this year - that is, books I've read for the first time, properly and not just re-read - will have been The Odyssey, The Silmarillion and The Iliad. I have to stop this. Where next? The Old Testament? It's all HEROES striding around MANFULLY and DECLAIMING at each other. Which is cool, but I think I need a nice, quiet family piece.

In other news - chikkins!


Wednesday, 8 December 2004

I'm on a bus, sitting at traffic lights. Been here 10 minutes. The reason? The bus driver at the front of the queue needed some time to GROW A PAIR!

Friday, 3 December 2004

aside

Finished The Silmarillion. Bow before me, for I am King Nerd. Okay, okay, I have two pages left, but those are the two pages which detail the War of the Ring, and I think I know how that one turns out..

So, is it any good? Well, you know, it's not bad. I have left the first half of the book behind me in the mists of memory so the later bits seem pretty rockin'. I thought when I embarked on the journey to the dark heart of Tolkien that it was a book for those who like Elves. No no no. This is a book for those who hate Elves and want to see their pointy-eared faces ground into the dirt at every opportunity. It's like the Big Book of Elven Smackdowns. If I get round to that potted version you're all no doubt utterly indifferent about I'll give you some further detail. Suffice it to say for now that if you're an Elf with a name which starts "Fin", you're not in for a happy time. Or, you know, you might have quite a happy time right up to the point that you're brutally murdered and your corpse is brutally humped by a thousand orcs.

Wednesday, 1 December 2004

..in a big cathedral, by a priest..

This has the potential to become a long post, so apologies in advance. Quite important, though, from a long-term point of view, so bear with me, will you?

Whoo, there've been a few false starts on this post, let me tell you. Okay, so Flapjack's big surprise present was a night in a very lovely boutique hotel in The City- I practically guarantee you haven't heard of it. There was champagne, there were chocolates, there were rose petals strewn on the bed and around the sink, there was a night-light lit...

But I needed to get her there. We went to the Museum of London, which is really quite interesting because we're both big fans of London (somehow my love of the city is tied in with my love of her). The cafe, however, was a disappointment so we went to the Pizza Express over the road (literally suspended in a bridge) which was fairly deserted and we had a nice meal and talked for ages about stuff, which you don't do at home so much. I took her in, watched and listened and drew in as much of her as I could manage, knowing what I was to do that evening.

Then we moved on, I took her on the Central Line to Bank. Bank? Why? There's literally nothing there at the weekend. Or, you know, is there? Turns out there is. Roadworks! They were pouring asphalt all over the place, and we needed to get past. Actually we didn't. My pulse quickening, I took my chance. "Let's go round here, then," I said and took her arm and moved her to the right, into the building we were passing. Kaboom, said the building, here's my magnificent interior! It's unexpected. I told Flapjack to take a seat while I checked in.

The room was a suite, beautiful and quirkily shaped. We sat, drank champagne, ate chocolates, I took a bath, we relaxed, chilled out and generally enjoyed each other's company.

I kissed her, her hair I remember being wet her eyes shining so very blue at me I told her I loved her, she said she loved me too. My swollen heart now bolting for my mouth, my whole world straining to a point, I knew I had to ask "Then.." the pause was a millisecond, but everything stopped for it "will you marry me?"

"Yes."

Saturday, 20 November 2004

music

Good

Bad

Guess which one got an audience of millions during Children In Need*? They're from Boston, you know, where my parents live. Well, near where my parents live. They're probably thinking "a bit too near" right now. I can only direct them here. Or possibly here.

*Albeit only for about 15 seconds.

Thursday, 18 November 2004

shiny shiny

The Silmarils are jewels, okay? There are three of them. They hold the light of the two trees of Valinor. Um-hum. Following me so far? Not difficult, is it?

I have been reading The Silmarillion for two months now. It's a hell of a slog. It's not a big book, it's just a painful book. I'm going to work on a potted version for those who don't want to read it but would quite like to know the gist. Like those yellow books you have at A-level that tell you what a book is about! I never saw the point. Read that book or read the actual book you are supposed to be read it's all book learnin'. Unless they're significantly shorter, like about 2 pages as opposed to 340. I'm going to aim for a few paragraphs.

Wednesday, 17 November 2004

This is going to sound like my greatest hits- It's cold and I'm starting to feel ill. Well, anyway. Flapjack's birthday went off ok yesterday - happy birthday, sweetie - with some good cards, a well-received present from her parents and The Mystery Present from me, which I may tell you about at the end of the month..

Saturday, 6 November 2004

the sting

So about... oh, I don't know. Six years ago - maybe - I was stung by a wasp. First time it had happened, which justified, I think, my years of worry about the little stripey shits. Yes, it hurt a lot to be stung on the palm of the hand, and I was extremely proud of myself for not shouting "FUCK!" at the top of my voice in the middle of my place of work. Go me.

Anyway, that's six years ago, hardly current affairs. Thing is, the spot where I was stung all those years ago (six! Bloody hell, where did the time go? Okay, maybe five. I lose track) has started to hurt again. I've got a little hole in my palm in the exact spot I was injured by the stingy bastard, and it's sort of sore and itchy. And I just squeezed a lemon. Ahhhhhhhooowww...

I'm going to do a spot of redesigning soon, by the way. I'm going to dump the external links page and have it inserted into the main template. Don't know why, but I am. Going to stop me? No. Good.

Generally, I disapprove

But this was cute.

You are .*	 You are a wildcard.  You are everything to everybody.  You can't make up your mind as to what you want to be.
Which File Extension are You?

Thursday, 4 November 2004

[insert south park song here]

Well, I'm an uncle again. James Lennon Hendrix Douglas-Reed was born last night at 10.45. All limbs present and correct, and without further information as yet I'm assuming mother and baby doing fine. Congratulations to all concerned.

Wednesday, 3 November 2004

not a river in egypt

It's still too close to call properly (though I suspect Bush's lot will be dropping a bunch of balloons on themselves very shortly), and, you know, maybe it'll go to Kerry. Uh-huh. Those last few votes - they might count!!

Gnggh. How hard can it be to just count up from one to many?

Tuesday, 2 November 2004

Police officers are refusing to carry guns in protest at the suspension etc of two officers who shot dead a man with a table leg. Hmm. As protests go, it's up there with 'until we receive a pay rise we shall feed you fudge until you are contentedly full.. bwahaha!'
I seriously doubt that there are any registered US voters reading this site. However, on the off-chance, I'd like to urge the non-existent readership to go vote! Do it now! In a race this tight, your vote may literally be the difference between regime change and complete disaster.

Thursday, 28 October 2004

the incredibles

Oh my god, you guys, seriously, seriously you guys, oh my god, sweet so sweet, it's just the best film ever!

gah

GAAAAHHHHH!!!

Gah.

Tuesday, 26 October 2004

Oh. Sad day. Can't think of anything decent to say here, so I'll stop.

Sunday, 17 October 2004

evil never sleeps

So I was supposed to be at the screening of The Incredibles this morning. In fact, it's about 30 minutes in as I type this. At home. In my dressing gown. Like a complete moron.

Yes, I overslept. And now, my impression of a man hitting himself in the face with a hammer.

ow

Tuesday, 12 October 2004

[jaw drops]

Stolen from Aqua's site, this is just so frickin' cool.

Go get a T-shirt to practice on now..

nemesis

Man, I hate Paul WS Anderson. I really.. okay, let's just get this over with quickly..

Resident Evil: Apocalypse
(mild spoilers for those who are doomed to see it..)

Okay, so. Wow. I'm genuinely impressed. This actually mananges to suck harder than the desperately bad original.

Now it's no secret that I <3 the games, and this is something I share with Paul Anderson. Only my love is something which brings me back to the games to play them over again. His is a love which makes him write suck-ass scripts which attempt to destroy any legacy they might have had.

Take, for example, the use of the city. Raccoon City is a well-established place now, through the games we've come to know and, well, maybe loathe its twisty, gothic, zombie-crammed streets. Anderson, operating through Directorial Channel Alexander Witt, re-creates them as they are just prior to most of the games - full of zombies, with the remnants of the police force fighting a desperate, futile battle to stay alive. It should be thrilling, to see played out what we've only had blood-spattered clues to before. But it isn't. It's turgid and predictable. It doesn't matter, and it doesn't need to be said.

It makes you realise that what was great about the games was the brooding aftershock of the zombie attack. The shambling remains of the undead hordes could be lurking anywhere. The music was subtle, low-key, unsettling. Here, the score is brassy and in-your-face. Thankfully, there's little of the fuzzy metal which marred the previous outing, but it nonetheless gives proceedings a slightly hysterical, overblown feel which does them no credit.

I'd say that's enough about the games, but the movie is obsessed with them. There are touches, references and entire sequences torn straight out of the PlayStation. The design of the church will be familiar to anyone who has even watched a game being played over someone's shoulder (though it's not explicitly a location from the games, it could be anywhere), and the designs of the Umbrella staff vehicles will cause a smile of recognition amongst the devout. But it also blows it by having City Hall as a towering modern skycraper. What's that about?

The Nemesis, with its megaton-stomp and trademark growl of "STARS.." is beautifully realised on the screen (though the purist in me would have like the rocket-launcher built-in), but woefully played out. By the end, it's warped to become a protector, and I honestly half expected it to hug a child and/or pet a kitten. A disastrous result for the single-minded killing-machine fans in the audience. It's like the Terminator giving the.. thumbs up... oh, never mind.

Plot-wise, Anderson really doesn't know what's going on, giving Witt a whole load of balls to keep in the air without actually letting anyone know how it's all going to pan out. The characters (some directly from the game, some just thrown in for the hell of it, like the comedy pimp. He drives a cadillac! He has custom guns! He says mothefucker! Hilarious. In 1974) meet up in a church for some reason, then head out to help some guy in a wheelchair find his daughter. A trip to a junior school (right out of Silent Hill, survival horror trainspotters!) results in a couple of depressingly obvious deaths.. and the return of the jam-loving zombie dogs! Mmm... they love their Robertsons!

Then it's all back to City Hall, where Anderson decides that plot is for wimps and simply writes a scene in which the main baddie asks Milla to fight the Nemesis, to see who's tougher. Seriously. There's none of that inconvenient "motive" or "plot mechanics". He just asks them to fight it out. And they do! It's staggeringly bad. Just amazing.

I'm going for Paul Anderson here, and I should really be heading at Alexander Witt. As director, he should know what he's doing, and it's clear he doesn't. It's all shuffling from one encounter to the next without ever giving anyone a proper reason to do so or bothering to fill in what might have happened in-between times. Also, he really ought to have a sense of where the movie ends. You think Spielberg is bad at the multiple endings thing? I started to think that perhaps I had another couple of hours of this when even more shenanigans started up after you think it's all over. And not surprise, Friday the 13th style "you think they're dead but they're not!" shenanigans, no. Just regular set-up for more running around. For the sake of my sanity at that moment, it was just a laboured set-up for a second sequel. But long-term that may be more damaging..

Tuesday, 5 October 2004

what are your greatest strengths?

X-ray vision and telekinesis!

Ho ho, a ribald answer for any job interview. But not one which gets you a job. Happily, I didn't give this answer (because I did not get asked the question). I gave lots of answers which a certain girlfriend had been coaching me on over the weekend and - I did tell you I was going for an interview, didn't I? For my old job? No? Okay, well, I did. I was. I did. Yes, I had the interview yesterday.

For once, I pretty much aced it. I start on the 20th. I think you'll agree, that's something of a result. It's like my old job, only for a proper salary. And known holiday allowances. And paid Bank Holidays. And sick pay. And a pension. And flexitime. And security. And it is permanent.

Yay!

Thursday, 30 September 2004

in your face, michaelangelo!

So I just painted the ceiling of the little bedroom, in about an hour or so. Now, I've never seen the Sistine Chapel, but chapels are generally pretty small. Even if it was only, say about twice the size of our room (a fairly generous chapel!), I still think he was being pretty slack taking four years. I'd sympathise with him on the bit where the walls meet the ceiling, that's a tough part, but you know, beyond that... A roller on the end of a broomstick, that's the trick, Michael.

Mind you, I suppose he had to leave work to go and fight crime with his Turtle buddies a lot. Still, he should've had a subcontractor of some sort to take up the slack. He was lucky the Pope didn't call Watchdog. "This shady decorator has taken four years to paint one ceiling..!"

Tuesday, 28 September 2004

sleep tight

I've had my first Sims anxiety dream. The Grim Reaper sort of glided up to Bonnie - this is my Sim couple I was talking about the other day, the ones I was remaking in Body Shop - and obviously it was her time (somehow, it's not like she was doing anything dangerous..). Malcolm* was sitting at the table eating a toaster pasty; he was in the foreground, Bonnie and the Reaper were in the background. Immediately I realised he had to plead for her life, but it took so long to get him to stop eating and get his arse in gear that the Reaper took Bonnie and I was most put out.

*Their surname is Oeuf. Do you see what I did there?

Thursday, 23 September 2004

choice, the agony thereof

After a few days with Sims 2 now, I've been creating lovely (and some not-so-lovely) Sims in the in-game Create mode. I'd kind of overlooked Body Shop, because, well, it was released before the game and surely it's less advanced..?

Nuh-uh. IT ALL KINDS OF ROCKS! The tweaks available in there are mind-boggling compared to Create-A-Sim. I'm currently recreating my favoured Sim couple from the first game and oh god, they're just gorgeous.

Tuesday, 21 September 2004

"write in journal"

...flapjack bought sims 2 on Friday...

..send food..

Friday, 17 September 2004

sod everything else

Here's the chocolates.



The gold flecks you see at the bottom there? Gold leaf. Yeah. There's silver leaf, too. And on the right, that's a cinnamon chocolate, and the one in the middle is jasmine and it's all a bit weird and yum.

i was going to post

but the oven is beeping, meaning my potato is ready. so i guess it'll have to wait.

Things I should cover - bread, chocolate, Prince Harry, Metroid Prime.. and stuff.

Thursday, 9 September 2004

no smoke without..

So I just had a little wander over to the park we thought was on fire last night. And what did I find? Dogs, tiny children being taken for walks, trees.. nothing charred at all. So I walked on further, and there..


Hey! That's rural idyll! Not a fire-scarred wasteland! Very disappointing, though quite nice to just discover round the back of the houses opposite. Still, not exactly what I was looking for. I continued my search and found..


It was a shed, in the allotments. A small tree was taken with it. So much smoke, but really very little fire. A nice little walk, nonetheless.

they keep starting fires..

Last night I walked into the bedroom and Flapjack told me to stop moving. I assumed I was making too much noise, galumphing over the floorboards. And I was, for there was to be heard a cracking, popping noise from outside. I stood by the window and listened, but couldn't place the source, looked up and down the street, because it seemed to be coming from everywhere...

Then I looked up at the houses opposite, and behind them there was a huge orange glow, smoke, glowing cinders flying into the air.. Yup, Walthamstow was on fire again (this is after the shopping centre in town, and Momart? That was just down the road, saw that from the bedroom window). I tried to get a piccie, while Flppy called the fire brigade. Hmm. My priorities seem a bit off there.

Monday, 6 September 2004

winners and losers

I did my mine canary impression for Alien vs Predator, and I'm still tweeting, just about. Not about the film, but generally. You know. Tweet. Tweet.

So how you been? Personally, I've been pretty okay. I made some sort of biscuity things last night and they were quite nice. That's definite. Nice. We cooked chinese food on Saturday and the damn fish paste we made won't come out of the blender, which is lovely as you'd imagine. I managed to need to change shirts twice that evening, which means I'm clearly very messy (ice cream first, chicken stock next). Well done, that moth! Flppy made spring rolls (yep, made) while we searched the inter-web for holiday homes in Whitby, which is where we're going next year with her family. It should be fun, I haven't had a holiday in years.

I'm currently in a writing sort of mood, and I have a big idea finally starting to make sense in my head, which is always pretty exciting. Whether it'll make sense when I shove it into Final Draft is another question entirely, but the process is always... um, well, actually it's always a slog and a frustrating one at that. So we'll see.

Wednesday, 1 September 2004

deux

This post marks the second anniversary of Moth and Flapjack. No flowers, please. We don't have enough vases*.

*Not true, we have a million vases

Thursday, 26 August 2004

home visits

So I went home over the weekend. Well, that is to say I went to visit my parents. Odd phrase, that. "I went home". I'm 27, I rent a room and I live day to day with my girlfriend. My home is London now, no doubt about it. But back with my parents.. that's, I suppose always home to everyone.

Sorry, tangent. There are an awful lot of dogs there. It's like dog-a-rama. And they're mostly huge. 2 borzois (6 months old and already they're bigger than Chloe, the whippet) and Ed the Enormous Alsatian. German Shepard. I don't know, what's the preferred nomenclature? Anyway, most of the time you're drowning in dog, but it's always good to see the folks, even if it was only quite a short time. Very short. Watched I, Robot at the Kinema, which is always fun even if the film is a bit shite.

Oh, yeah, it was my last day at work yesterday. I got a card signed by everyone, and a present and a collection of cash and lunch bought for me and it was lovely and everyone was very sweet. I've never really had that in a long-term job - either it was like Unipart and we were all leaving or it was OnDigital and I just flaked the fuck out of it and didn't come back. So that was actually quite touching.

Friday, 20 August 2004

cake

Hmm.. this pret chocolate cake had mayonnaise in it. Didn't taste like it. Tasted like cake. Bloody hell, I needed that cake. Cake cake cake. I think the word is about to lose all meaning. Cake. Oh, there it goes.

Well, that's today's update. Not really worth it, but I felt the need to talk about cake. Coming soon - Rice Pudding!

Wednesday, 18 August 2004

they use it to drill a flaming hole in your head..

So, it was fire drill today. We got the warning about 3 weeks ago, then the fire-wardens got their orange jackets out yesterday, so we were ready. Got out to the car-park quickly and easily by the simple expedient of actually opening the fire exit doors ("No-one's done that before.." "Well, the worst that can happen is that the fire alarm goes off"), and was followed out by our chief executive. If I were a lifer here, that'd probably be brownie points.
There are trees shedding their leaves here. I'm sorry, is it autumn already? What happened to summer? I don't tend to pay any heed to human commentary on such matters, but the trees... well, you'd think they knew..

Thursday, 12 August 2004

arachnophilia

One man's epic struggle to not be grossed out by the other inhabitants of the house he lives in...

So this morning I walked into the bathroom and felt something in the mid-thigh area. Without my glasses on, I couldn't tell what I'd walked into, but I could guess. Yup, there it was, a web across from the basin to the radiator (which is always on! Does it know it's summer?), with the little Isambard Kingdom Brunel sitting in the middle wondering who was trying to break through its masterwork. So I backed up, got a glass and a piece of card and disposed of the master constructor.

I'm getting better. A year ago that would've freaked me out so badly I'd be shuddering and swiping at my legs all day. Today it's a humorous anecdote for my blog. I'm not saying I like them. I don't think that'll ever happen. But I think I might start tolerating them. Why, just yesterday I had a shower with one hanging over my head.

In non-spider-related news, um... Oh, yeah, I'm going to visit my parents soon, for the first time this year. Not sure about the two new borzois, but it'll be nice to see the folks and Ed again.

Friday, 6 August 2004

[title goes here]

[insert generic blog entry]

[put in picture]

[make joke here]

[extra paragraph of unconnected stuff]

Friday, 30 July 2004

Summer in the city at last. Turn your face to the breeze, put on Soldier Girl and you could very well experience feelings of bliss.

Wednesday, 28 July 2004

spiderpocalypse

I'm afraid I am Vacuum, the first horseman of the spiderpocalypse.  Much as there is a general desire in the household to not kill them, they need to be shown who's boss.  Or, at the very least, they have to get out of our faces.  I vacuumed about a dozen out of the front hall (a space about 1x2m) the other day.  There are now 4 or 5 in there, and I just don't know where they come from.

There is no alternative.  They've got to go, and I'm way too afraid of them to go round to each and every one with a cup and a piece of stout card.  I can cope one at a time (just), but en masse... no.  I'm also going to give the outside of the house a good sweeping down with the broom.  They're not doing this to the other houses!  Do they own the arachno-freehold, or something?

Thursday, 22 July 2004

Dodge Dip Duck Dive.. Dodge

I feel it should be noted that Dodgeball rocks.  When it's out, see it.  Twice.

On a related note, I saw someone barged all over the place at Liverpool Street this morning.  A young couple were walking down just in front of me, and this guy, this wide middle-aged guy in a dusty grey suit,  just bashed into the girl, dragging her several feet back up the platform.  She managed to disentangle herself, and he carried on, muttering something I didn't hear (but which definitely had the word "fucking" in there somewhere, and the distinct sense that it was somehow her fault.. which it was not).  People were gaping in astonishment, which in London tells you it was something remarkable.

Idiot.

Monday, 19 July 2004

Whales and Cats

It seems that some people just can't get enough of that great Whale taste, and want to start killing them again. Why are we not hitting them until they stop? Have we failed the whale?  It doesn't seem right, and I don't care if we're sentimentalising them.  They're big, there aren't many of them, and we don't keep breeding stocks.

In other thoughts, what - exactly - did Tigra bring to the Thundercats party?  Seriously, Panthro could turn invisible, Cheetara could run really fast, Lion-O... had a sword.  Well, no, I mean, he had management experience.  The Thunderkittens had flying skateboards, Snarf was comic relief... Tigra?  He had the car.  Basically, far as I can see it, he's the kid that you hang out with because he's got the driving licence.  Maybe Tigra bought the rest of the Thundercats beer, too.


Monday, 12 July 2004

Oh, god. The horror... The horror..
It's another 'waiting for a movie' update! Chronicles of Riddick tonight. Willl I be Riddick-uled if I like this as I was given HELL for SINGing the praises of Van Helsing?

Friday, 9 July 2004

time... is on my side

I'm now re-playing Prince of Persia, and I'm maybe loving the experience a little more this time through. Once you have the confidence and knowledge, it doesn't frustrate as much. I can sit back and experiment with movement - half of the joy in PoP is the way the Prince moves about, the simple ease with which you can throw that little fella round those vast levels and watch him dance his way along walls, twirl his sword and edge his way along beams.

And then there's the fighting. The fighting made me want to die, first time through, because it seems like a chore, a slog through waves and waves of enemies. But when you have the skill of it and the attitude of "I know how it goes, what the hell?", then the experimentation comes into it. Vault over an enemy and retrieve their sand while they reel from your attack? Whee! Done! Parry, thrust, retrieve? Tricky, but it can be done, and when pulled off, it's immensely satisfying.

Even rewinding - something I never used to do during a fight, it just never occurred to me - adds a dimension. When you know a blow is coming, how much more rewarding to get a second shot at it and block it, or leap gracefully out of the path of the blade and slash at your opponent while the momentum of their missed attack unbalances them...

All this, and a sequel in the works.

Wednesday, 7 July 2004

erasure

Hmm. And then they got rid of the smileys and all the posts since they arrived disappeared. It was like Tuesday didn't happen on FU. Weird-o-la.

In other news, the Constantine trailer feels like PAIN and The Ladykillers is the worst. Coens. Ever.

Tuesday, 6 July 2004

Smiley happy people

Hmm. Film Unlimited went down this morning (last night?) and has come back with.. well, with smileys, dammit. This seems to have caused massive slowdown and smileys.

I just want it on record that I don't like smileys. I use them every so often in email or texts and even more rarely in posts, but as a rule I tend to avoid them.

I wonder what posessed them?

Sunday, 4 July 2004

Found in Translation

I sound ace in Italian!

Così ho rinviato, per un breve periodo, a AFP ed allora ho fatto l'errore appena di scattarsi sul primo alberino che sono venuto attraverso nei gruppi del google verificare la mia nuova messa a punto di cliente. ed era Spam. WebMarshall non ha gradito che, così ora il mio accesso (effettivamente, accesso per la costruzione intera) ai gruppi del google È STATO NEGATO.

Scopata della madre !

Ed ora il that'll mi causa i problemi per il mio proprio luogo, voi guarda...


And back to the English..

Therefore I have sent back, for a short period, to AFP and then I have made the error hardly to release itself on the first starter shaft that have come through in the groups of the google verifying my put new to customer point. and it was Spam. WebMarshall has not appreciate that, therefore hour my access (effectively, approached for the entire construction) the groups of the google HAS BEEN DENIED.

Swept of the mother!

And hour that' ll me cause the problems for mine just place, you watches...


Which is jam hot.

Thursday, 1 July 2004

Brevity is ... wit

So I returned, for a short time, to AFP, and then I made the mistake of just clicking on the first post I came across in google groups to test my new account setup.. and it was spam. WebMarshall didn't like that, so now my access (indeed, access for the whole building) to google groups has been DENIED.

Motherfuck!

And now that'll cause me problems for my own site, you watch...

Tuesday, 29 June 2004

hot? or cold?

I guess the weather is just teasing us with suggestions of one type... then another. All I ask is continuity!

So, yeah, I watched Anaconda. Big snake, huh? I want to know if Ice Cube has a "Mr Cube will not die in this movie" clause written into his contracts. Seems plausible to me. More plausible than that snake, or the stuffed panther. Oh, the stuffed panther.

Poor Owen, I have to say. He drifts off to stardom, that's what I say. Starrrrrrdom!

Saturday, 26 June 2004

Damn, that's a big snake

Anaconda is just starting on Channel 4, and I thought.. "Meh, might watch it.." then I remembered it was Jennifer "J-Lo" Lopez, Eric "E-Sto" Stoltz and, crikey, Owen Wilson versus a big-assed snake! Hot diggety! So I'm off to watch that now, pizza slowly cooling nearby..

Friday, 25 June 2004

I'm on my way home... I guess it's been a long day, with a net result of not much. My feet hurt. However, the last oranges of today's sun are attempting to cheer me by making Tower 42 and the Swiss Re building glow. Thanks, sun! You rock.

That didn't happen..

So I went into Game yesterday (after about 4 miles of back-and-forth to fetch my cashcard), armed with the knowledge that I'd got enough trade-in goodness and actual money to buy Prince of Persia - The Sands of Time. And, since it's now at 29.99, even on Gamecube, I was surprised by how much cash I'd got to buy it.

What also surprised me was that I ended up buying Hitman:Contracts for Xbox, price 19.99. I don't even own an Xbox. Why, then, did I buy the sequel to a game I had no interest in playing in the first place on a system I don't have access to? Why, for 200 loyalty points, that's why! So I got them both home and...

Wait.

[activates dagger]

[rewinds to shop]

Then I traded Hitman:Contracts back in. For 20 quid. Net profit - 1p. And the 200 loyalty card points. I don't know. I guess the guys in the shop worked out a neat little scam which got them some kind of commission bonus for flogging their latest offer. They're welcome.

PoP is, naturally, the bomb. But it's tough. At points. Argh.

Monday, 21 June 2004

MY EYE!


Yes, two pictures in a row. Sue me. This is the bruise coming along nicely. You can't see the actual cut very well - there's a darkish blob at the far end of my eyebrow. That's it. I doubt I'll even get a scar out of this whole stupid business.

This scares me..



I never want to see this ever again. GOOGLE WAS BROKEN!

I got soul
but I'm not a soldier

Spent a good while reunited with the GameCube. Sure, it was nice to see Metroid Prime and Mario Party 5 is fun but a bit empty with only one person galumphing around the board, but the star of the weekend was undoubtedly Soul Calibur II.

Now, I've got Soul Blade on the PS, and it's good as it goes. It's no Tekken 3, I can tell you that, but it's an entertaining way to spend a few minutes. Soul Calibur II is a cut - pardon pun - above. Intuition doesn't come into it (Tekken's one-button-per-limb is intuitive as hell), but instinct does. Quarter-circles on the analogue stick, A A B button pushes, grabs, charges, it feels like home. And I may get teased for my tendency to play as a tiny girl on these sorts of games, but that's just me. It's the style I'm most comfortable with, nimble, darting, leaping. I can't handle bruisers, I feel clumsy and vulnerable. I need to know that I can dash away, dart in, float like a moth, sting like a bee. You know?

Of course, Weapon Master mode is a pain in the arse. So many tight challenges to unlock stuff. Whatever happened to just playing through on Arcade mode and hoping for the best? Added value, pah. I want to play as everyone now!

Saturday, 19 June 2004

bump

So the boxes were moved across from flppy's parents' house today, by a removals firm. Meant I spent my FIRST NIGHT ALONE in the house. Oh, yeah. I slept on the wrong side of the bed, and everything. I just didn't care. Felt a bit empty in the morning, the house (and me, I mean, without breakfast and with only that disgusting chicken thing from last night), but that's how it goes, I guess.

Aaaanyway. The boxes were loaded up by the nice removal men at one end (overseen by the oaten one) and then she came over here while they did a drop-off and eventually turned up in Walthamstow. While we were just, you know, making the place ready for the boxes, I was dashing about the house and, in a fit of I don't know what, joie de vivre, I guess, I leapt from the third step to land on the living room floor.

Well, not quite. You see, I forgot (somehow) that there's a door in the way. So the top of my skull went CLONK against the doorframe with a sound not unlike a coconut being dropped onto a polished wooden floor. I dropped and sprawled on the bottom step, feeling a bit foolish and a lot in pain. The pain went pretty rapidly and I don't even have a lump on the top of my head, let alone blood.

However. When the boxes were in place and I was taking the vacuum cleaner down to clear out the cupboard-under-the-stairs, I turned sideways at the bottom of the steps, then, hastily, turned back. I guess I grew a few feet in the night, Ent Draught I don't doubt, because without lifting off the ground, my brow connected - again with the CLONK - with the exact same door jamb. Muuuch more pain. I did have the presence of mind to yell "Oh, shit, not again!" as a I staggered about clutching my forehead. When my hand came away - uh-oh, blood.

So, that's two head injuries in a day, and a nice dark patch on my left eyebrow. Oh, and a swelling I can actually see, peeking out into my vision. Clearly, I am klutz central today. You may leave your sympathies in the space provided below.

Friday, 18 June 2004

Wiped

I'm so sleepy and exhausted! A combination of too many late nights, too many stuttering mornings and TOO MUCH POLLEN! I want to lie very still for a very long time. Preferably with a troupe of servants bringing me drinks in tall glasses dripping with condensation.

I think it's fair to say that my bullish attitude to BB has paid off already. Three weeks in and we've ticked most of the boxes for "things you want to see in reality telly". This week's rucking has been spectacularly entertaining - as much for the "WTF??" reactions of my fellow viewers as for the actual on-screen shenanimaganians. The one downside is their apparent reluctance to remove people from the house. Come on, Big Brother! Let's start picking these suckers off!

Tuesday, 15 June 2004

Is it safe?

Well, I think it's done now. This marks the Sanctuary's upgrade to php. I don't exactly know what that means, and I think I'm just repeating the same mistakes I made in html but with .php as a file extension. However, it all seems to work okay and if that means I did it right, well, go me.

Many thanks, once again to Mike for the help. If you haven't visited his site, do. It's very good, and he's my host. He's an excellent host, one of the best. He serves drinks in the ftp lounge, it's great. I had a vol-au-vent in there once. Didn't like it much, but that wasn't his fault. Once again. Mike.

Sunday, 13 June 2004

btw

There is some maintenance going on. Please bear with me while I sort out the links and stuff.

Someone call Michael Caine...

You don't believe me about the insects? Try this!


Saturday, 12 June 2004

Lovely weather we're probably having

We've been covered in flies lately. Little itty bitty tiny flies, the type one might find in an ironic chardonnay (today it's actually chenin blanc, which is a less ironic drink to find a black fly in, but still somewhat wry). Hundreds of them, perhaps even squillions. I think it's to do with the hot weather, or maybe it's because we've got a reservoir, like, there. Probably a combination of both. Anyway, whatever, we're constantly having to vacuum up the corpses of a thousand dead. Or however many. I can't guess. A lot. Jesus. They were on our bed the other day. That was so gross. It makes the spider infestation seem positively mundane.

Come to think of it, there are so many damn spiders about, can you imagine how many flies there'd be without them? Ewww!

And I may have overestimated with 90 minutes for The Colour of Magic (TCoM, sorry for the abbreviation, just so used it) - my quick first draft of a 15-minute estimate came in at 6 pages. Heh. It'll be more like 10 properly formatted, but still. And, Miss Corinne, if you remember Maskerade, I managed that in 60 minutes. Okay, I cut the witches out, but still.. Eat it, Steve Kloves!

Friday, 11 June 2004

The first drops of rain

I think the drought may be coming to an end. Last night I worked out with not a great deal of effort a structure for TCoM which would a)make sense and b)come in at roughly 90mins. Go me!

Okay, I wasn't actually supposed to be working on it, but what the hell? The heart wants what it wants..

Wednesday, 9 June 2004

Dagnammit, the guy on the platform is reading MY copy of TIUIOAMF Edge! No wonder I couldn't find the one copy the newsie near the station always has, what with greedy sneak-thiefs snaffling it like that!

Tuesday, 8 June 2004

Great, I'm going to be hot, sticky and uncomfortable before I even get to work. And I'll be standing on the bus. And some morons have joined the wrong end o the queue. Now they're on ahead of me. I hate people sometimes.

Monday, 7 June 2004

You know the feeling.

Damn fool ideas

Sometimes I wonder if I'm wasting my time on ideas and plots and characters and schemes that are doomed. Then I rationalise that I'm not one for creative waste, that I'll recylcle, reuse, reincorporate...

Of course, I've got stuff I never reuse. I just kick it around, trying to form it into some kind of sensible shape. What I'd like to do, mainly, is to pitch it as a concept, then hope someone tells me to write it. Then I might snap out of the aimless doodling and get on with it.

Or, you know, I might not. But I'd like to think I would.
Ronald Reagan - dead at 93. I thought I'd whoop a bit more.. I guess any death is a bit sad for someone. Mind you, 93. You outstayed your welcome in the White House, too...
Now, on to our leader at the time..

edit: stupid phone..user

Sunday, 6 June 2004

I've been thinking...

Again. Sorry. Anyway, I was thinking about starting a team blog, because I've always wanted to but never seen a reason before.

So I was at work, thinking about how I wanted to rant about how much I hate my job - or at least... bits of it. That made me think about my weblog, which could easily accommodate such ranting. However, I also thought "yeah, but what if you had a separate blog, called something like 'I hate my job' or 'It sucks being a temp' or 'Hey, you! What's the limit on this thing?'..? Actually maybe not that last one".

Then, furthermore I thought, what about if that were a team blog? If anyone I know who hates their job (or aspects of it) could just come along and rant, and so we'd have a little shouty space in the middle of the inter-web? Because sometimes you don't want to have a goddamn dialogue about your stupid shitty workplace/workmates/workwork, you just want to yell.

So, uh, is it worth it? Since most of the people I know who are online people read this (all four of ya), who'd be in? Seriously.

Thursday, 3 June 2004

E4 rocks.. the whole.. Sorry, this leads on from the last post.. The red button is great. It's not that you're even watching all the time, but they're there. Like a fishtank, a little peoplearium. I shall name them all and keep them warm.

Wednesday, 2 June 2004

I'm not ashamed

I've been watching Big Brother. I watch it every year, and I'll not stop this year, dammit. In fact, it's already getting fun, what with random evictions and the housemates rumbling BB's secret rooms and suchlike. I enjoy it every year - though last year was a teeth-gritted test for even me and my undemanding scheduling needs - and I can probably even defend my liking of it. But, generally, I don't feel the need.
There was, in the end, precisely no mystery to the faulty modem. All it required was a firm push in the right direction (down) to make it go. So, while I'm happy that it now works, I also feel like something of a doofus. I love that my phone has now been taught the word doofus.
I used to enjoy looking at the user dictionary in any word processor I'd been using for a while - I revelled in the swears and the made-up words.

Sunday, 30 May 2004

it's too late

every morning i wake up and think how i could be a better man. some mornings i list in my head all the things i should do, should think, how i should act. some mornings i try to drag myself up, up into this new man. and, of course, some mornings i think "are ya kidding? you don't improve on perfection!" because, well, i guess some mornings i just wake up without realising the dreams stop there.

what am i trying to say here? well, perhaps that i apologise if i'm not that better man. or perhaps i'm just letting the world know how great i am. or, you know, maybe i'm quite tired and should be in bed. hey! it's the bank holiday!

happy end of may! woo!

It's a new world

'ello. Welcome to the... I think sixth version of the Sanctuary. You may now leave.



Hey! Come back!

Saturday, 29 May 2004

I think I'll start titling these.

Because I can. Anything you'll read without a title is probably from wapblogger. Or, um, or I just forgot. Of course, I may just forget to put one in. Or I'll stop doing it. Well, yeah. We'll see. Bet you're glad you read this one. YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME!

Friday, 28 May 2004

Spoilers, as you may expect, follow.

First thing to get out of the way; this surpasses the previous two movies to an almost embarrrassing extent. The imaginative, playful use of the production design from the earlier films exposes Columbus's pedestrian directing style like a lumos spell in a cupboard. Hagrid's hut, for example, now sits by a lake at the bottom of a set of vertiginous steps. Hogwarts nestles gloomily in its Glen, a brooding mystery far removed from the Disney castle of Philosopher's Stone. Everything and everywhere feels more magical, more unworldly while still being a convincing world on top of ours.

From the dynamic, punchy opening which gets Harry out of the clutches of the Dursleys for this installment (a mercy), it's obvious that Cuaron gets what makes the books fun. Not necessarily funny - I think I maybe laughed twice, and smiled a lot, but this isn't about the Rule of the Animal - but the zip and zing of the stories. Harry is barrelled along with the audience through an unfolding mystery which frequently threatens to be just too mysterious but is always pulled back by a handy bit of explanation (Steve Kloves just can't get enough of that exposition, it's just a mercy the script editor had had at it this time).

Bigger spoilers

A shame most of us know the big twist, but Cuaron very nearly sidesteps this entirely by keeping Black as little more than a background figure and dispensing entirely of, say, the dormitory break-in. Still, the tension which may have been there is somewhat sacrificed.

Big spoilers end, continuing with regular spoilers. This has been a public service announcement.

So what are we left with? Well, character. And effects. But let's talk about character first.

Thankfully, the performances from the three teenage leads are light-years beyond the dreadful Chamber of Secrets and the merely poor Philosopher's Stone. Radcliffe has grown substantially as an actor and makes a capable lead, dealing with the dialogue like a human being rather than an actor-bot. Rupert Grint has all but given up the mugging and is.. well, not in it that much. However, the real star here is Emma Watson. Sure, there are moments when her performance is as mannered as it has been previously, but for the most part she is fabulous, and it almost feels like Hermione's role has been expanded to reflect this. So expanded, in fact, that one begins to suspect that the next movie will be "The Amazing Adventures of Hermione Granger and her Wizard Pals".

As ever, the adults are also very worthwhile. Except perhaps Emma Thompson, but that's more to do with Trelawney being a dreadful character than her Edina impression. Michael Gambon brings an interesting if insubstantial Dumbledore to the table, while Alan Rickman and Maggie Smith are more or less sidelined but still good value whenever they do make an appearance. It's with Gary Oldman and David Thelwis that the most astute casting has been done, however. Oldman gives Black the soulful depth needed to give the character credibility. Thelwis - who I thought was a disastrous bit of casting when I first heard it - turns in the best adult performance; in his hands Professor Remus is the engaging, charming figure of the books, winning me over completely. His scenes with Harry are character high-spots, and who cares that he's not as good looking as he should be..?

Which leaves, I think, the effects. I wanted to give special mention to these, because they're a cut above. The magical light in the movie is just beautiful to look at - which is good, because Potter is much darker this time out. The dark greys and slate blues require relief, and the golden shimmer of the Patronus charm or the vivid illumination of wand-lights are eye-bathingly gorgeous. They are also used in such a seamless way within the world that it's unquestionably clear that this shit is magic, just as the tiny touches (Remus packing his stuff with a resigned air of magical familiarity, the spiffy Knight Bus hurtling through an oblivious London) are thrown away as simply part of the world.

Magical creatures this time have been really cared for, too. Buckbeak - always a dodgy prospect - has turned out well. Not perfect, but the characterisation shines through the odd dodgy movement (I'm being super-picky here, the Hippogriff looks great). The werewolf transformation is among the best you'll see on screen, right up there with American Werewolf and The Howling, even if the end result looks a bit.. well, it looks a bit like a wolfy Gollum.

Basically, it's like the first two were just showreels. This time out, someone actually picked up the material and made a movie from it. Potter fans, your prayers have been answered.
Yes, yes, I've seen the Prisoner of Azkaban, who wants to touch me?
I said who wants to fucking touch me?
Potter tonight. Very excited. I couldn't tell if I was getting goosepimples on the bus from Azkaban-induced excitment, or if I just got an odd blast of cold air from one of the paltry windows.

Certainly more excited about it than van Helsing, which was big and dumb and you know. I was pretty jazzed about Troy, and that was gooood, but this. This, ahh, this is my FotR...

Thursday, 27 May 2004

My Bloginality is INFP

A world says "well, duh".

Tuesday, 25 May 2004

Yesterday I was offered a ticket for Prisoner of Azkaban. This Friday.

I thought about it for approximately two nanoseconds.

I'll try to post about it here when I get back, but don't expect it to be much more that "Who wants to touch me?"

Sunday, 23 May 2004

Okay, so I just read a post on here from last June, saying I had hayfever after months of thinking I would escape. Damn, that means I won't escape.

Yes, I know what time it is. Am off to bed right now.

Saturday, 22 May 2004

Haha...!

Now it is fixed good and proper, yes Mikey Michaelson? Uh-huh. According to The Man They Call Aquarion, it was - duh - my fault. There was an open h1 tag which I just plum forgot to close. I was wondering why all the other text looked all hugebigmassive.

Now I think this text size is something we can all enjoy. And Mike will be pleased to hear that I'm working on a restyle.
Well, all right, Mister Mike, I have rejigged the formatting slightly to compensate for the new commentary system. I only listen to you because you're my genial host, you know.

In other news, flppy has a new computer (as well as, temporarily, a new url), which - in defiance of common sense - came with no modem. I know! Who are they selling these things to? Cave people? So we wents out and boughts a new one for, frankly, chump change. And I opened up the tiny tiny case, goggled at the lack of space to move, took out the video card, put the new modem in, put the video card back, closed it all up again and now the computer is just looking at us with a "modem? What is that? I've never heard of modems"...

Yep, I'm back where I was soooo long ago, with a computer failing to recognise its hardware. And I don't remember how that problem got sorted out. And gah. Gah, you hear me?

Wednesday, 19 May 2004

I'm tired.
I'm thinking very seriously about starting a business. It needs a damn good website, a couple of geeks and a vehicle. Oh, and someone who can talk to businesses. It's a winner, I tells ya.

Monday, 17 May 2004

I think if the only other bus numbers which stop at the stand have gone past and there's still a load of people waiting, you should take the hint and get in the goddamn queue.
Hmm. Blogger is now offering comments. Hopefully, this post will have them available. Not sure how they work. Shall we see?

Friday, 14 May 2004

According to the Evening Standard, Troy is the latest Hollywood blockbuster to - oh, my sides - rewrite history.

Uh-Huh. You read me right. Rewriting history. That great historical work of nonfiction The Iliad.

OFFS!
Well, I'm loving Blogger's new cuddly look, if nothing else.

Plus, they've given me gmail! Hurrah for Blogger. Gmail kicks ass.

Okay, so just got off the phone to Lloyds. I now know how much I owe everyone, and that means? I can deal with things. I'm getting a call tomorrow from a debt management agency, which will hopefully start me on the road to freedom! Or at least the road to paying people off and not bloody well worrying about it every ten seconds. Turns out bankruptcy and even IVAs are for big-assed debts, and my puny less-than-£10,000 blackmark is small change. They are sure, they told me, that they can help.

One can but hope.

On the plus money side, we won the film quiz on Tuesday, and got the cash, something no-one has managed since - get this- November. It had rolled over into a tidy sum. £475 between 5 people? That'll be £95 each, then. Oh, the high life for me. Breakfast! New trousers! A new book!

Flapjack has now ordered her new computer, so that's going to be all shiny and new and oooh look at the shine. Mu-huh. I'm hoping to pick up a copy of Final Draft somewhere in the world...

You know, there's something else but I can't think of it right now. Maybe that was all. No. Argh. I hate blogging. I love blogging. Damn you, Blogger!

Wednesday, 5 May 2004

This is cut 'n' paste from FU, so apologies if you've already read it.

Van Helsing. Spoilers follow.

This could've been really, really bad. Supernaturally poor. Happily, it isn't.

I was pretty certain I was going to love it from the moment the Universal globe went black and white and a mob of scythe-n-torch wielding villagers stormed up to a castle. Then when the castle's occupants turned out to be Dr Frankenstein, his Monster, Igor and Dracula... how could you not love it? "Look, he's heading for the windmill!" - well, where else do monsters in peril go?

This bravura homage to Universal movies past is immediately followed with a more straightforward "Hugh fights a big CGI monster" heroic establishing scene. Though the monster is a cocky, incomprehensibly Glaswegian Mr Hyde and it takes place atop Notre Dame, it's not really the funnest thing ever. And this sets the tone. Van Helsing is best described as patchy. You're unlikely to be bored (except perhaps during the execerable scene between Dracula and his Brides, which consists of nothing but shouting and screaming in Comedy Accents), but there are few genuinely thrilling moments, Sommers instead going for "solidly entertaining".

Plot-wise, it's actually pretty damn tight. Each element has clearly been thought out well, everybody has their purpose and some strands are carried through with a courage not usually found in yer average summer blockbuster HUGE SPOILERS FROM NOW, FOR GOD'S SAKE, LOOK AWAY UNTIL YOU'VE SEEN THE FILM, THEN COME ARGUE WITH ME ABOUT THEM For example, it was an interesting twist to have Van Helsing bitten by the werewolf. It genuinely imperilled the hero, and was disappointing when the "cure" was revealed. Should it go to a franchise, how interesting would it be if Van Helsing was a werewolf? Oh, well. At least they had the balls to whack Kate - something I honestly didn't see coming. HUGE SPOILERS END

Performances were variable. Support was fun, from Shuler Hensley's great turn as the Monster (sympathetic, arrogant, angry - what more you you want from the Monster?) and Kevin J O'Connor's sadistic Igor to the hysterical (not in the funny sense) Brides of Dracula. I was disappointed that the brunette wasn't offed earlier, though, as she really got on my nerves. The leads were, well, leads in a blockbuster. Hugh is always watchable, Kate is all Comedy Accent and corset and Richard Roxburgh varies wildly between ridiculous and slightly less ridiculous. His "standing on walls/ceilings/whatever" schtick is great, though. David Wenham's Q-ish monk is by turns excruciating and a joy - I think you need to get used to him, really.

Um. So, yeah. It's not going to rock your world, but you're also not going to feel cheated out of a ticket. A success, I'd say. And not a flop. So ha.

Tuesday, 4 May 2004

Standing in line? That's for chumps. Soon we will be waltzing into van Helsing... Will it be rubbish? Will it be good? You'll have to wait and see. Personally, I hope it's chips.

Saturday, 24 April 2004

When I said standing on my head in that last post, I didn't mean it was easy. I just meant I could perform a headstand while filling out the forms. Because.. I like the world through a red veil. Uh. It's not easy. I just got a bit overconfident there.
I'm dying on hold. This is difficult enough as it is without the Stereophonics. I don't want to be calling a debt recovery agency on a sunny Saturday morning... I'd rather not be calling them at all, ever, but these are the holes into which one digs oneself, I guess. My hands are starting to smell metallic from the trumpet of the phone - a gorgeous 1930s candlestick with separate ear and mouthpiece.. ooh, through!

Okay, well, that's the amount there. 267.10. Huh. Not much. I could pay that one with an IVA, standing on my head. It's the other one. The loan. And the other loan. Oh, fuck, the other loan. IVA! Please? Hello, student loans... Time to use the computer's touchtone dialler... saves the dial on the antique, y'know?

pfah. Answerphone. Oh, well... Time to leave details... Or the first five words on my details, what the fuck? How short must their tape be? Am I speaking too slowly for them in t'north? I'll call back on Monday.

Well. Ok. Progress, then? Amounts known - Student loan, credit card. Amounts unknown - bank loan. People spoken to - four. Machines spoken two - one. Not too bad. For some reason, speaking to Elaine at Capital One has made me thnk seriously about IVA... Could it possibly be the way to sort this out without going bankrupt? I hate the idea, because defaulting is such a big deal it's scary, but... in practice... it might just be my salvation..?

Tuesday, 20 April 2004

So I didn't do it at work. Sue me.
Anyway. As flapjack44.net might tell you, the ground floor is all but finished. The decor is fixed, the furniture is out, Space Telly is a-ok... The only missing component are curtains, fish and the storage unit. And my GameCube, which remains, cruelly, in a box in Wembley. I miss it like a limb. Sure, there's a PSone, but it's not the same, is it?

Monday, 19 April 2004

I know, I been bad. It's been so long and...what? Battery low? Oh, man. I'll try this again at work. Sorry. Love you all! Mwah! Mwah! Bye bye now..

Monday, 22 March 2004

Space Telly arrived. I'm tired again. All this TV is bad for a person, I'm sure. But not so bad that I'm going to stop, like. I think I should just, well, give it a rest. Maybe I won't switch the TV on at all tonight. Okay, not back on after The Simpsons, anyway. Yeah, that sounds fair. Doesn't it? No more!

Woah. I've had TV for less than two weeks and already I'm talking like a determined smack addict going into rehab.

Friday, 19 March 2004

I scribbled this in my notepad last night. Don't know why, exactly, it's not useful, but it is accurate. This was me, last night.

"It's a fine evening on the Northern Line. I alight at Warren Street and push through the late-night crowds I have followed from Leicester Square. Most of them are foreign - I pick French, mostly, from the clamouring air about me. I smile, feeling like I could be anywhere. The black and white tiles at this station make me think of the Metro and I realise - Underground, we can be anywhere. Moorgate feels American, like New York, and for now Warren Street is France. I'm connected. Down on the Victoria Line platform, a breeze picks at my hair. After the swelter of the passages, it lifts my already lofty spirits higher. Paris on a spring night. London. Home. The train is here. Off we go."

Wednesday, 10 March 2004

The world is crazy! Snow! Then no snow! Then snow again. My train was cancelled this morning, and the Victoria line was broken. The driver said over the intercom "I apologise for the more overcrowded than usual overcrowding.." which made me forgive them a bit for not having platform announcements.

Anyway, real news. I got home, well, we got home on Tuesday, and there was a box waiting. I say I, because she knew it was there already, and grrr argh! But not. Because it was a box containing happy. It was a box with 23 widescreen inches of pleasure. A TV. Oh, and what a lovely, lovely, shiny, thin, flat TV it is, too. And! And! Sky! On the 20th, Mr Sky is coming over to kill us and eat our puppies. Sorry, install Space Telly. Auto-response, used to work for OnDigital, nevermind.

So, in summary, I'm taking a day off tomorrow. I'll probably spend most of it re-honing my Tekken 3 skillz, or watching Futurama, or or.. wow, there's a lot of stuff to do. TV! How cool is that?

Also, lights are up now. There are 2 broken shades (one only a sixth of the entirety, one half of it). But that's ok, these things happen and I'm confident things will sort themselves out somehow, things usually do. Easy for me to say. Anyway, the kitchen (mostly finished!) looks surprisingly extra-slinky with its new light-sources.

Farewell for today. I have your chickens, losers!

Monday, 8 March 2004

Today, no-one died.

Sunshine. You have to love sunshine. If you don't love sunshine, you're probably me as a teenager, affecting to love the rain sooo much more. Which, let's be honest, I didn't really. Because sunshine just makes you happy, doesn't it? It's like free prozac.

Agh! Man in long leather trenchcoat! Good god, when will people learn? Heh, saw someone in one of those in Maplins yesterday, actually, looking at computer components. And a book about how to build a robot. Dude! Do you ever want to get laid? I mean, in this life?

Anyway, will you look at the time?

[runs away while you're looking at the clock]

Sunday, 22 February 2004

Normally, I'd hesitate to rave about a product endorsed by Ainsley Harriot, but, damn that Fairy spray shit is good.
Yours,
a very domestic moth.

Friday, 20 February 2004

Spoke via the sms to mein host this evening. Hiya, mikey! Nice talking to you. Sorry about the pony.
Oh, hello there. I'm sorry, I.. Wasn't expecting company. I must look a fright.. really, if I'd known, I would've... put some clothes on.

Tuesday, 17 February 2004

I'm bored of the internet. Let's all write letters instead!

Friday, 13 February 2004

I thought they'd come for me, just then. There I was, brazenly reading No Logo in McDonald's when an employee strolled up. "that book" he said, pointing to the severe black cover. "What is it? It's a bestseller, is it a story?" Eeek! I thought. It's the MaccyD's Thought Police! "Uh.. no.. it's about how global corporations are.." THINK OF SOMETHING NON-CONTROVERSIAL! "... selling brands instead of products... Like Nike. Or Virgin." Or McDonald's, heh heh.. "Oh, yes, Richard Branson is just labelling everything and selling.." "Yes, yes, that's it.." "I think I'll get that for a friend." And, with my effusive "It's very good"s ringing in his ears, off he strolled again.

Random.

Friday, 6 February 2004

Pffff. Nope.

Monday, 2 February 2004

I said a while ago that I had lots to say, didn't I? Then I just plain clammed up. Sorry.

Damn, wasn't it cold last week? Ice and snow and stuff. Makes a change from blistering heat, which was what was going on when I last posted, I think. Yeah. I was talking about short trousers, wasn't I?

I shall take a bath this week. I shower every other day. Want a bath. With bubbles.

Monday, 26 January 2004

We made pie last night, amongst other things. Pie is good, though I'm not sure.. the pastry wasn't so amazingly good. My fault, I think.

The spare room is looking bare right now. Stripped of wallpaper. Curious to see it like that, but it's something very definite, a step on a longer road to something very exciting.

Tuesday, 20 January 2004

Quiz tonight. Kinda hope we don't win, in a way. Doesn't make you popular.
Saw LotR 3 yesterday. It's pretty good. I'm never going to think it's a masterpiece, but it's certainly a great slab of entertainment. I like the book a lot.

Friday, 16 January 2004

Oh, I did a birthday post for me on the fifth. But it didn't show up. Silly wapblogger. It was my birthday on the fifth. I'm now 27. You may now praise me.. as your almighty!

Sorry.
Tee hee. Still here. Oh, you guys know how bad I am at this, surely? If you've read this far. If this is your first visit to the Sanctuary, well, hello there! I'm awful at the updating. Please note that half the links to the right are dead, and I don't have a comments system. You know, if this were a perfect world, thing would've been very different so I don't know where I'm going with that line.

Perhaps this site would be full of water.